Thursday, April 14, 2011

When It's Just You and Your Jammies

Classes are over. Thank goodness. This semester has been EXTREMELY busy.
Now I just have 6 finals to take, there are only 5 days of finals. Do the math.

Anyway, as the semester has been ending my professors have been giving us parting words of wisdom and thoughts. A few have talked about similar things and some of it has been who we are.

Who are you? Who am I? And not the person you are around your family, at school, at work, at church, with strangers or with your friends. When you're alone at night, right before you go to bed, when you're under your blankets, settled down, breathing slowly and it's dark and quiet [or if you're like me, usually with some music playing softly] and your right about to fall asleep and "it's just you and your jammies" [to quote Professor Richardson]; when it's just you--who are you?

What are your thoughts? What are your feelings, your dreams, fears, and desires? What is it that's still bothering you from the day? What is it that you wish you did different? What is it that makes you tick? Where do your thoughts inevitably drift off too? Are they the same thoughts every night? Are they your secret desires and hopes you're not brave or strong enough yet to admit to your family and friends? Can you only admit them to yourself in those fleeting moments right before sleep overtakes you? When no one is around to judge and scrutinize, what are your goals and dreams? What are the things you value? What are the things you hold near and dear to your heart? What type of person do you want to be, what are the things you want to change? What are the things you long for? In those last moments of the long day, as your eyes close and you can't control where your mind goes anymore; when you can't keep it off the things that scare you, that make your stomach drop- what are you thinking of? Who are you thinking of? Who are you?

I know I'm not the same person 100% of the time and I know all of you know a slightly different person. Yes, I'm still me, but it's different. You may have known me in elementary school, middle school or high school; and what was I to you? Was I your peer, classmate or friend? Was I your best friend, or the little sister? Was I your friends kid or student or babysitter? Am I just the person whose blog you sometimes read? Am I your sibling, cousin or other family member? We're all slightly, even "miniscule-ly" different for every person we have any type of relationship with. And...I think that's okay. We'll always be different and changing-as long as we're getting closer to that person we are deep down inside and not running away from ourselves.

"This is your life, are who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be"
'This is Your Life'


Jess said...

Brilliant...You are so insightful.

Kell said...

Thanks, Jess!