Friday, October 15, 2010

Guess what? You're not cool.

I HATE skinny Jeans.

Okay, mostly I hate super skinny jeans on guys. Like seriously? It's the worst. They're too tight and then they sag them down (because we all know they couldn't POSSIBLY be comfortable) and then we all get to see their underwear.
Great.


All around, it's gross. Just wear jeans that FIT you. Guy+Skinny Jeans=weird, pansy, femmy. Equals I'm not a fan. You look like an idiot. There is a difference between well fitted, straight jeans and the skinny jeans to which I am referring. One is good, the latter is not. It puts me off and most guys in skinny jeans...you guessed it, I don't like them. In fact, 9 times out of 10 I can not stand them. It's just gross, blahh, I can't even stand it.

You know what usually goes along with those skinny jeans? Toms; tight, weird T-shirts; bleached or dyed black classic "emo" hair (you know what I'm trying to describe); a beanie hat (in. the. summer.); a cardigan sweater that's too small; and over-sized, purposefully dorky, coke bottle glasses; and an attitude and personality equalling that of "too cool for school," music snob, who thinks they are just so above everyone else. The reason their spindly little legs can almost fit into those jeans? They haven't done a difficult thing in their life.

I don't like most skinny jeans on a lot of girls either. Again, I'm not talking about straight jeans, or tailored, tighter jeans. I'm talking too tight, too small, that they've shimmied and squeezed their way into only by putting them on before they ate that morning and sucking in their gut like no other. Just admit it yourself (you dont' have to share with the rest of the world) that you're not a size 4 or 6, you're an 8...it is OKAY. I swear.

And don't say, ever. That you're skinny jeans are comfortable. I know, you know, we all know. They are not.


Also, why did we ever think popped collars were cool?
When your shorts are shorter than the pockets they have, we have a problem.
Dress pants require proper socks that match and are not ankle socks.
Man-pris. Terrible.
Most anything seen on project runway, don't try to mimic it.

Wear what you want, dress up, dress down. Follow a (normal) style, have your own. Just make sure you don't look like an idiot.

3 comments:

Jims Porter said...

I'm embarrassed. I think my glasses are too big for my face (more dorky than trendy), most of my jeans are pretty tight/skinny, anddd I've been known to sport a cardigan every now and again.

Please don't hate meeee...

Kell said...

see, you've mostly missed my point. When peoples clothes are too small and too extreme. When they aren't even clothes anymore but have fused to your being b/c they are so skinny and you need someone else to pull them off for you becuase you can't even bend over anymore. and you can guess their attitude about life by just what they are wearing.
I don't hate you James lol

Jess said...

Oh my goodness I was cracking up the whole time I was reading this. I totally agree! Especially about the shorts; if they are wider than they are long PLEASE don't wear them... :)